Thursday, August 2, 2012

Chik-fil-a and conservative friends

If you haven't heard about the recent controversy Chik-fil-la controversy, you are probably living under a rock. Or on Mars. Probably on Mars.

Recently, Chik-fil-la's President Dan Cathy confessed that his company was "guilty as charged" when it came to accusations that the company believed in the "Biblical definition of marriage," aka, a marriage between one man and one woman.

And you know what? Thats totally ok. Thats the great thing about America ya'll. We are all entitled to our own opinion.

I know many people think that "bad" opinions should be censored or banned, but think about it. Even with the best intentions, if we started doing that, where would it stop? We are not the USSR, or North Korea. As a writer, my favorite thing in the world is the Freedom of Speech. It's awesome. I want to be best friends with the Freedom of Speech.

So why won't I be giving my money money to Chik-fil-la anymore and give up their amazing waffle fries (sigh, waffle fries.....yummmmmm)? Its not just because eating their food would lead to me getting diabetes (delicious, chik-fil-la sauce covered diabetes), but because Chick-fil-la has donated money to groups like The Family Research Council.

In other words, Chik-fil-la has given money to a hate group.

Anti-LGBT hate groups like The Family Research Council have made it their mission to make people like my Aunt and my cousin lives a living hell. They have put out debunked, false studies trying to link homosexuality to pedophilia. They try to make it impossible for gay people to find employment, fair housing, adoption, marriage and other rights we, as straight people, take for granted.

I know a lesbian couple who are married in California. One of them has a chronic illness that requires frequent doctors visits. But even when they both are healthy, they are nervous about traveling to other states for fear of one of them getting sick in a state where their marriage is not considered legal. The other partner would not be able to see them in the hospital.

Sally Ride, the first woman to go into space,was also the first LGBT woman to fly into space. She had a partner for 27 years, and when Ride died, her partner was denied her Survivors Benefits because of the Defense of Marriage Act.

It is cases like these that groups like The Family Research Council cause, and that is why I will no longer give my money to Chik-fil-la.

If you want to go to Chik-fi-la, that is your choice to make. But know that by standing up for your "Christian Rights" by participating in this Chik-fi-la appreciation day, you are hurting an LGBT person somewhere.

Maybe its by funding an anti-LGBT group, or maybe its a closeted gay teenager who saw all those people standing in line for Chik-fi-la and thought Wow, I am not wanted or appreciated here.

Just know that you are doing it.

Oh, and by the way, Mr. Cathy, I would respectfully like you to know that the "biblical definition of marriage" is a little different from what we view it as today. Marriage has been changing since it was made illegal to sell your daughter for two cows and a goat. We also made it illegal to have multiple wives (Abraham and David. David really got around when it came to wives), have sex with your father (Lot), and made it illegal to grab a girl and carry her off to be your wife (Benjaminites -- Judges 21:19-25). Also, it's kind of frowned upon to wait for your brother to die and take his widow (Onana and Boaz).

And as for that "one should not lie with a man as one would with a woman" bit that everybody gets so riled up about, I have two different theories about what it actually really meant (both of these taken from a bible studies class I took a few years ago):

One theory is that the government at the time the Bible was written was trying to raise the population count. As we all know, two men or two woman having sex can not produce a baby (though as one of my gay friends says, "God knows we keep trying.")

This also ties into the Bible passage that says "though shall not spill his seed on the ground," aka banning masturbation. Sperm helps create babies, so they wanted to use it for making those babies. I mean, what more can you take away from God killing a man because he chose not to get a girl pregnant?

The other theory says that one should not lie with a man because it was a woman thing to do, and woman were considered less than property in the Biblical era. They were a man's to use. If you had sex with a man, you were basically disrespecting him by considering him a "woman." This was not shown as a "morality problem," but as a "women suck" problem.

As all this controversy was going down, I could not help but stop and consider some interesting developments in my own life. Before I went to college, I only was friends with people who shared the same Liberal values as I did. Life was simple and easy.

Then I went to college, and became friends with many people with different values. One of them is one of my closest friends and future roommate, K. She is funny, sweet, smart and kind, and she is also a conservative.

At first, I wasn't sure how to proceed. I really don't talk about politics that often, except around my family. I also had this view that all Republicans and Conservatives were Tea Party birthers who wouldn't shut up about Obama's freaking birth certificate.

K proved me wrong. She is not like that at all. She has the sweetest mother in the whole world, she likes to make Turkish Delight, and she loves writing and theater just as much as I do. We are both obsessed with The Great Gatsby, love watching Castle and all things Nathan Fillion, and love hating the graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan. She does not go around shoving her beliefs down people's throats.

Sure, she believes in some traditional values that I don't agree with. Sure, she once called me a "screaming liberal" in the only conversation we ever had about politics (I took it as a compliment). But that's the great thing about America.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

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